Lessons Kids Need to Learn by David Staal

Author:David Staal [Staal, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-310-58956-3
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2012-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Mouth

Becky and I look forward to a comment we consistently hear during our son’s parent-teacher conferences. You see, Scott captures his teachers’ attention each year with what he says. Specifically, he asks them, “How are you?” when he arrives in class, and then wishes them a good day before he leaves. Two simple statements for a total of seven words. Can it truly be that simple to make a strong and positive impression? Yes. And did he learn this impression-building skill from me? No.

While I tend to get impatient with my wife for her time-consuming greetings whenever we enter a room of people — and for her longer-than-I-want farewells when we leave — Becky models this skill very effectively for our children. She, and now they, effortlessly display people-person abilities I must work hard to achieve.

If teaching in this skill area rested solely on my shoulders, I’d run the risk of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do disingenuous coaching. Karl, a focus-group parent, feels the same. “I have to watch and guard myself,” he says, “so that I don’t have a different standard of engaging people than I want my children to always have.” Our kids deserve better.

Children also need someone to explain how and when to initiate greetings and well-wishes. And they need encouragement to always insert a person’s name into the conversation. The responsibility rests on parents to show their child how to ask questions in an attempt to know more about a person, which communicates personal interest.

Another parent, Janice, concurs on the need to model well. “I would always tell my children stories about the interesting people I met at my job working in a retail store,” she said. “Hearing me talk about those whom I had met helped my kids develop intrigue about people and the desire to find out about others.”

Lindsey, another mom who wants her children to possess strong people skills, offered insight on an additional valuable aspect of learning in this area — that of correction.

“I called my daughter on her cell phone and she answered by saying ‘What?’ I told her, ‘What? How about you give me back the phone you’re talking on right now that’s in my name. I’ll give you just one more chance.’ Then I hung up and called her back. She answered, ‘Hi, Mom, how are you?’”

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